The term “weaponized incompetence” has been thrown around a lot in the last few years on TikTok and it sounds complicated, but it’s really not. It’s basically when a partner pretends to not know how to do something just to get out of having to do it. We’re talking simple things like laundry and grocery shopping and straight guys tend to be the ones who do it a lot.
Cooper, a disability advocate and real estate investor in Los Angeles, recently went viral for showing just how common weaponized incompetence is. After seeing a guy on Twitter say he was “shocked” that weaponized incompetence is real, she asked people to share their “most absurd” experiences with it. Most of them were from women and they’re just as frustrating as you’d expect.
- “My ex tried to tell me he didn’t know how to use bleach in the washing machine. I’m like you put it in the hole next to the detergent that says ‘bleach.’ He’s a software architect that makes 6 figures.”
- “I asked my ex (a 40 year old man who’d been living on his own for 20 yrs) if he’d boil some water in the kettle for me. And he asked ‘How do I do that?’ To be clear, this was his house, his stove, and his kettle.”
- “My husband: ‘I don’t know where to put the dishes away. It's confusing’ Also my husband: ‘I know the location of all parts in my warehouse, my inventory is organized perfectly.’”
- “I asked my ex to clean the tv stand/tv (dust). Showed him what to use. I look over & he’s using the wrong thing on the tv screen, which could do damage. I say something. He says ‘Well if I can’t do it YOUR WAY I guess I just won’t do it anymore, since I can’t do anything right.’”
- “The men in my family can fix engines, computers and do home repairs but act like breaking down a box for recycling is impossible.”
- “My husband never cooked and never planned meals and went to the store. He moved out to live with his much younger girlfriend without so much as telling me or the kids, and the next week I ran into him at the grocery store pushing his cart and buying all the things!”
- “I PERSONALLY know someone that told their wife ‘I’m the type of person that will purposely mess up so that you won’t ask me again.’ They are divorced today.”